Friday, December 8, 2023

Marriage & Relationships

By Arvinder Grewal Darpan, 22 Jul, 2014
  • Marriage & Relationships

It is not an easy task to maintain good relationships. When a couple is having relationship problems, they sometimes feel that this is happening because they are not with the right partner. They have the notion that if they find the perfect partner, they will resolve their relationship problems and/or stop these problems from affecting their marriage. However, there is no such thing as a perfect partner and relationships must be nurtured and managed so as to have a successful marriage.

People in general are very complex and it is hard to predict how they will behave. Therefore, it is important to have open communication to safely and comfortably discuss issues that are affecting your day to day life. The following are some examples of common questions that have been asked by couples.

My husband and I are recently married and live in the basement suite of my in-law’s house. We both work full time and the only time we have to spend time with each other is in the evenings and weekend. Unfortunately, our time together is regularly interrupted by my in-laws. How can I make sure that my husband and I get time to relax together without hurting my in-law’s feelings?

The first step in any communication is to sit down with your partner and have a discussion about spending quality time with each other. Discuss what quality time means to each other. Let your partner know that quality time means just being with him without any interruption from others and perhaps even set a time period where it is just about the two of you. Once this discussion is complete, decide who will broach this subject with your husband’s parents. You want to discuss whether the two of you will have this discussion together, or if your husband will have this discussion with his parents on his own.

I have my own business and work from home a lot. My partner feels that since I am home, I should be the one to take on most of the chores. We have many arguments and cannot come to an understanding.
It is important to state that any topic that causes heated debate should not be discussed on an impulse. Make sure that the two of you schedule a time to have a discussion on chores and that both partners are aware that the discussion is about chores and working from home. You may want to help your partner understand what your work commitments and work schedule are. Also, it is important that you make sure that you are not sending mixed messages, i.e. completing a household chore during your work hours because you had some free time in your workday.

My husband and I have some extra money left over and we both decided to use it to go on a vacation. We cannot agree on the vacation because we both have different views on the ideal vacation.
Sometimes it is all about the compromise. If you have different ideas about vacations, then take turns deciding. The two of you can decide to go on one of the vacation choices this time and the other vacation choice the next time.