Kamal Haasan turned 62 on Monday with a very subdued birthday. There were no celebrations because, as the actor put it, there is nothing to celebrate.
His partner of 13 years left him. Plus, there is a health setback.
"My leg which suffered a multi-fracture in August suffered a neural trauma on Monday. The pain is unbearable. I am on sedation most of the time now. So there is hardly room for celebration," Kamal said in a groggy voice.
Every year he brings in his birthday with two very close friends from outside the film industry who share their birth date with him.
"But this time I had to say no to their invitation. There's too much pain. I am sedated from physical pain. But the other pain is not something I want to go out in public with," he said.
The exit of Kamal's partner Gautami Tadimalla, has left him shaken. But he has maintained an outwardly calm.
"I am not about to have public breakdowns. Pain is nothing new to me. I've dealt with it all my life. But yes, it gets awkward on a birthday when friends and fans want to meet you."
Kamal is also avoiding fan meeting this birthday.
"They wouldn't like me hobbling on one leg and looking groggy with sedation. It gets awkward. This year, I'd rather be on my own."
So is this the most unhappy birthday of his life?
"No. My unhappiest birthday was my 16th birthday. I was aimless, directionless and without any purpose in life. My father called me and gave me a dressing down. I remember I locked myself in my room and cried bitterly. It is the only time I've cried on my birthday," he recalled.
The actor-filmmaker has plenty on his plate, all waiting for the leg to heal.
"It's truly frustrating. I want to get back on my feet. There is a film waiting to be completed. There is work to be done. But I am at home sedated against pain. It's not a good feeling. All I ever wanted was work and someone at home to come back to."