Weddings are a big event in the Indian society for which the planning begins really early and goes elaborate. We plan for the rituals, the events, the clothes, and honeymoons, but what we ignore is the marriage that follows the wedding.
We fail as a society in planning to make some space for the daughters -in-law in our hearts. We fail to include in any of the family situations or decisions.
We ignore these important considerations and focus only on one question, "How will she adjust?"
These concerns can be addressed and the emotional gaps can be bridged with some small steps, listed by NayamatBawa, head psychologist, IWill ByEpsyclinic:
- The expectations need to be a 'two way affair'. If you are expecting your daughter-in-law to contribute in a particular way, simultaneously you need to figure out ways in which you can make it easier on her too.
- It's important to show appreciation and be vocal about even the smallest contributions she makes in the house.
- Make sure that your daughter-in-law is involved in the entire decision making process so that she feels like a part of the family and feels like she has a voice in the family.
- In case you would like some changes, it is a good idea to suggest the changes rather than imposing them on her, so that she feels respected.
- One tip for the husbands is to hear out your wives in case they have trouble coping with the environment at home. Help her settle in a smooth manner with dignity, instead of advising to give in to the environment every time. It is only you who can achieve this delicate balance.
- It is important to give adequate space to the couple so that they may build their own individual lives and develop a strong bond in their marriage.
- It is the responsibility and duty of each family member to conduct a positive and goal directed communication at all times.
- At any point if you as a daughter-in-law feel that unhealthy family dynamics are inducing pain in your life, it is strongly advised for you to seek professional help from a counsellor or a psychologist.
It is important that there is sincere effort from all the family members in developing a healthy set of new relationships. The apprehensions and insecurities must be discarded and the new entrant should be given a fair chance of a dignified life