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After Deadly Paris Attacks, Parents And Schools Grapple With How Much To Share With Children

Darpan News Desk The Canadian Press, 17 Nov, 2015 11:23 AM
    BOSTON — The deadly attacks in France left schools and parents around the world grappling with what to say to children, and how to say it.
     
    When classes resumed this week, many teachers struggled to decide whether to discuss what happened in Paris. Parents wondered whether to talk about the violence or how to explain it. From country to country, the topic was tackled in different, and similar, ways.
     
    Many schools held moments of silence to honour the hundreds of people who were killed or injured while out simply enjoying a Friday evening. Some held open discussions about terrorism and the Paris attacks. Teachers of younger students often tried to shield them from the topic.
     
    At the Lycée Français de New York, students were called into assemblies by grade to talk about the news and their reactions.
     
    "We took a really careful approach," said Elisabeth King, a spokeswoman for the French-language school in Manhattan. "It's really about listening and alleviating fear."
     
    In Paris, schools reopened Monday with normal routines. In one public school, a teacher drew a classroom of 7-year-old children to a corner, had them sit close together on the floor and explained there were attackers at a stadium. The teacher said there were more and more police every minute to protect people.
     
    A French newspaper, Liberation, published a special children's edition Monday.
     
     
    At Downtown Magnets High School in Los Angeles, social studies teacher Daniel Jocz scrapped his lesson plan to discuss the attacks. He asked his 11th grade students if they had any questions, and then taught a primer on the history and politics of the Middle East and North Africa.
     
    "I want them to have a clear picture of the complexity," he said. "And I realize it's a daunting task because many of them have not had any historical background."
     
    In Toronto, the school district's director of education issued guidelines Monday to help teachers and parents address the subject with their students and children. Tips included addressing students' concerns about the events and asking open-ended questions about their feelings.
     
    "It is normal for people to try to make sense of things when a serious loss occurs. Allow your child to share his or her ideas and speculations," Director Donna Quan said in the guidelines. "Help them to separate what they know from what they are guessing about."
     
    Experts say parents should avoid talking about the attacks with children younger than 6. For older children, parents should invite them to watch the news as a family and then discuss it, said Dr. Steven Berkowitz, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the University of Pennsylvania.
     
     
    "For a lot of kids this is part and parcel of the world they've grown up in," he said. "Often, kids may have less of a reaction to these events than we do as adults, and sometimes we're surprised by that, and we shouldn't be."
     
    Berkowitz said parents should take care to avoid passing their own anxiety on to their children.
     
    "A lot of adults are pretty overwhelmed and scared by this, and they have to be aware of their own feelings," he said. "If you're feeling that way as an adult or caregiver, which is understandable, it's important that you get support from somebody else and not put it onto the kids."
     
    In the U.S., individual schools decided how to respond to the news. The superintendent of schools in Hartford, Connecticut, distributed guidance from the National Association of School Psychologists to principals on how to help children cope with terrorism.
     
    In Italy, the minister of education asked schools and universities to devote a minute of silence and at least an hour of reflection to the attacks.
     
    Minister Stefania Giannini said in a message that educators must help students "reject, today more than ever, any temptation toward xenophobia or racism."
     
     
    A GUIDE TO TALKING WITH CHILDREN ABOUT PARIS ATTACKS
     
    PHILADELPHIA — After the deadly attacks in France, parents around the world are grappling with questions of how much to share with children and how to talk about the violence. 
     
    In an interview with The Associated Press, Dr. Steven Berkowitz, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the University of Pennsylvania, offered this advice:
     
    DO's
     
    —If children younger than 6 hear of the attacks, tell them that it's something adults will take care of and that they're safe.
     
    —Watch or read the news with older children and ask them open-ended questions about their thoughts.
     
    —If teenagers won't open up, ask them what their peers are saying about the news.
     
    —Explain that although we hear about events like this, they're still relatively rare.
     
    —For younger children, explain that there are people who do bad things and sometimes there's no good explanation why.
     
     
    DON'T's
     
    —Don't let children younger than 6 watch TV coverage. Repeated coverage can make them think it's happening over and over again.
     
    —Don't pass your anxiety on to your children; instead talk about your worries with other adults.
     
    —Don't offer an answer you don't believe; it's OK to say it was a horrific event and everyone is stunned.
     
    —Don't hesitate to correct children's misconceptions about the news; explain, for example, that no one religion or its believers are responsible for acts of violence.
     
    —Don't be surprised if children don't react as strongly as adults; many children have grown up surrounded by coverage of violent events.

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