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Sonam Kapoor: I am married to my job

Darpan News Desk Darpan, 03 Jul, 2015
    She elegantly charmed everyone as a con bride in her last release ‘Dolly Ki Doli’, where she donned not just one, but sixteen different bridal attires. However, talk marriage with this glamorous girl and Sonam Kapoor quips, “I am married to my job.” 
    No doubt, the leggy lass is neck-deep in her work, but certainly that doesn’t mean she is completely shunning the bliss of matrimony, as she smiles and says, “Of course, I have nothing against marriage, I do believe in the institution of marriage, and hopefully when I find my Mr. Right, I shall tie the knot. However, right now, I want to focus on my work because I want to be an actor all my life, not that I cannot be one after I marry. I can, but right now my focus is solely my work.”
    Having said that, what will happen if she stumbles upon her Mr. Right in between of her work? After all, love can happen anywhere, anytime… isn’t it? She grins mischievously, “True, when that happens… then I shall see, what has to be done. But till then, I don’t wish to lose my focus.”
    Well, Sonam may still want to keep marriage at a bay, but what about her parents, aren’t they busy hunting for the perfect guy for their daughter?  “No, thank god for that,” she sighs, “My family is not narrow-minded or old fashioned. They are today’s parents and there is no pressure for anything. They understand that my career is important to me and they know when I want to, I will get married.”
    While Sonam has made her point clear about being loyal to her career at the moment, as opposed to settling down, one wonders what is her ideal man checklist like? What are the qualities that one should possess to sweep her off her feet?
    “Oh, he has a very tough act to follow because I have very high expectations,” she laughs and continues, “I am very idealistic, and I expect the person to be as idealistic. He should be some-one who is ambitious for himself and someone who wants to do something in his life. And of course he should love me immensely and should be able to keep me happy.”
    The Kapoor gal doesn’t seem like someone who will get lured by someone’s bank balance…“Of course not,” she squeals, “What appeals to me first and foremost is the intelligence. And then, the potential to do something in life.”
    Having grown up on romantic novels like Jane Eyre, Bride And Prejudice, Emma etc… Sonam is romantic at heart, but again, the small gestures matter to her the most as she says, “Someone knowing little things about me can floor me completely. I am not into some grand gestures, solitaires, and all. But small things matters to me the most. I don’t believe in Valentine’s Day and all, nor do I want any special gifts on those days, but simply knowing the small things that can make me happy ‒ like my favourite colour, food, music etc is enough.”
    Sonam indeed has some simple yet unconventional demands in life, unlike other girls her age, which makes one curious to know her thoughts on marriage in general, even though, it is not on cards anytime soon. “Like I said, I do believe in it, but one should get into it only when they are ready for commitment and has found the right person. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and you need to be ready for it. I want to have a successful marriage, not just for the sake of it. Whenever I will get married, I will ensure that I work towards it to make it a success,” she exclaims.
    Speaking of a successful marriage, in a day and age when the divorce rate is high and so many relationships are going kaput, what according to her is the key to a lasting bond? “People today don’t take commitment seriously. It is very easy for everyone to walk in and walk out of a relationship,” she says thoughtfully before adding, “According to me, a relationship needs lot of patience, lots of give and take, and accepting one another with faults.”
    Stating her parents, Anil and Sunita Kapoor, as examples, she says, “I have seen my parents… they dated each other for 11 years before getting married, and then they have been married for almost 31 years now… it has been that long and undoubtedly they still love each other immensely. Both of them have their flaws, both of them have some annoying habits which they hate in each other, but they love each other despite their flaws. So basically you need to stick it out.”
    She further points out, “We youngsters don’t know how to stick it out…we don’t even try. People do not work hard enough on relationships. It is hard work to make a marriage work. If you really love the person, then you make that effort to work towards it.”
    Must say, the style icon speaks wisely. So how does she envision her dream wedding? It can’t just be a simple regular affair for our fashionista. Her reply, yet again is unpredictable, as she says, “I don’t know, I have never thought about my wedding day. I am not one of those girls who have grown up thinking about weddings. For me, it is more about the kind of life I will lead with the man I am married to, as opposed to the kind of party it will be like. Because the party is just going to last for three days, and a marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. So no I don’t think about it.”
    Like Sonam mentioned earlier, marriage does come with many responsibilities and often demands a lot of change in life. Will she ever change for the man of her dreams after she has tied the knot? “No, one should never change for anyone. I have never understood this concept,” her voice is full of passion as she speaks, “You shouldn’t change. 
    In fact, a relationship should nurture you, should help you to become better. Whoever you are supposed to be with, needs to make you a better person as oppose to change you. A relationship enriches you, helps you to be a better version of yourself, not to be somebody else. It should never change your personality; it should highlight your positives and help you work on your negatives. And a relationship will only work out when you accept each other the way you are.”
    While relationship and marriage were once considered a sacred institution, there are several variations of it today – open marriages, one night stands, partner swapping etc, what is her opinion on all this? “I don’t have an opinion,” comes her pat reply, “If it works for some-one, good for them. I don’t judge anybody, whatever makes somebody happy, and whatever suits the person, it is his or her choice. I don’t have strong opinions about it at all. I still believe marriage to be a sacred union of two people. And when I get married, I will work on it to ensure that it has a solid standing.” On that positive note, Sonam Kapoor sums up the interview.

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